This book is consistently frank, vulnerable, perspicacious, and insightful, covering an impressive variety of aspects of the transgender experience in intimate, lyrical language and dry, compassionate humor. The author’s analysis of privilege is particularly refreshing, as is his description of transitioning as a parent. A stunning memoir about discovering one’s identity late in life
—Kirkus Reviews, starred review
From the outside, Oliver Radclyffe spent four decades living an immensely privileged, beautifully composed life. As the daughter of two well-to-do British parents and the wife of a handsome, successful man from an equally privileged family, Oliver played the parts expected of him. He checked off every box—marriage, children, a stately home in Connecticut, and a golden retriever.
But beneath the shiny veneer, Oliver was desperately trying to stay afloat as he struggled to maintain a facade of normalcy—his hair was falling out in clumps, he couldn’t eat or sleep—until, on an otherwise unremarkable afternoon in September, Oliver woke up and realized the life of a trapped housewife was not one he was ever meant to live. Finally recognizing that he’d spent his entire life denying the deepest truest parts of himself, he began the challenging, messy journey toward self-acceptance, knowing he risked the life he’d built to do so.
Frighten the Horses is a trans man’s coming of age story, about a housewife who comes out as a lesbian and tentatively, at first, steps into the world of queerness. With growing courage and the support of his newfound community, Oliver is finally able to face the question of his gender identity, and become the man he is supposed to be. The story of a flawed, fascinating, gorgeously queer man, Frighten the Horses introduces Oliver Radclyffe as a witty, arresting, unforgettable voice.
About the Authors
Oliver Radclyffe is part of the new wave of transgender writers unafraid to address the complex nuances of transition, examining the places where gender identity, sexual orientation, feminist allegiance, social class, and family history overlap. His work has appeared in The New York Times and Electric Literature, he recently published Adult Human Male, a monograph with Unbound Edition Press about the trans experience under the cisgender gaze, and his memoir, Frighten the Horses, is due out with Roxane Gay Books in September. He currently lives on the Connecticut coast, where he is raising his four children.
Julie Lythcott-Haims is the New York Times bestselling author of How to Raise an Adult. Her second book is the critically-acclaimed and award-winning prose poetry memoir Real American, which illustrates her experience as a Black and biracial person in white spaces.
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