The world-famous singer who slams a colleague. The politician who makes—then breaks—COVID rules. The athlete lashing out at a competitor’s politics; the stand-up comic whose personal proclivities suddenly overshadow their best routines.
Any one of those can be found in the headlines, and every one of them apologizes. Or do they?
Have you ever apologized, then cringed afterward at how badly you did it? Has someone sneered at you, “Well, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.” Odds are you didn’t sense any real remorse there.
“I’m sorry if…” is one of the pitfalls of apology deconstructed, analyzed, and even mocked by the creators of the Sorrywatch blog—Susan McCarthy and Marjorie Ingall—in their new book, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies. They’re ready to help you workshop your next request for forgiveness.
In Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Marjorie and Susan dissect what goes so badly wrong in facile “non-apologies,” and build the case for sincere, well-worded, authentic contrition. With wit, snark, and a good footing in politics, literature, and culture, they artfully tackle the “I’m sorry if…” dodge, the “my intent was good” tap-dance, and the inexplicable “that’s not who I am” defense. Drawing on a deep well of research in psychology, sociology, law, and medicine, the authors explain why a good apology is hard to find—and why it doesn’t have to be.
For this national launch of Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, bring us your own tales and travails, your stories of doing it right and doing it wrong. Susan and Marjorie will take on your apologies and workshop them in real time—with informed takes on the subtle underpinnings that make or break them. Join Susan and Marjorie with our own Angie Coiro—sorry if you can’t make it!
Photo of Susan McCarthy by Jennifer Hale. Photo of Marjorie Ingall by Deborah Copaken.